Consideration

I've been lurking around Blogger for a while. I've come across a few select bloggers that I find fascinating reading.

Why am I fascinated? Well, there are a couple of reasons and I'm they're not always a reflection of what I want to think of as my best qualities.

See, I am a very judgemental person. I used to be very open about it, flapping my mouth off whenever my sensibilities were offended. It amused my friends to no end, I'd have them rolling with off the cuff remarks about anyone unfortunate enough to be a target of my acid tongue.

But, I am also a very lucky person. I have very close friends that care about me and at more than one point in my life they've very gently pointed out that my caustic nature was very unattractive. I have since modified my behavior so as not to push all that negative energy out there -- which is all that kind of activity does. It doesn't make me a better person and it doesn't help the object of my derision, so what's the point?

SO - reading blogs where people have totally laid out their hearts and souls (we assume) gives me the ability to internal dialog with myself about the choices others have made and lets me reflect on the experiences I've had that may (or may not) be a lot like those I read about.

Yeah, I've had an affair with a married man. Yeah, his wife NEVER wanted to have sex with him. Watching the two of them together (she was my friend) was often painful because they were so nasty to each other. Any observer could tell that the love, romance and respect had gone out of their marriage YEARS ago. This experience turned out badly for her and very well for her now ex-husband and myself. It would be stupid of me to be judgemental of anyone else at this point because my own story would make a lot of people very uncomfortable...hell, some of it makes ME uncomfortable.

I've also done the group sex thing, the two girls/one guy thing, the pick up a guy at a club thing, the kink thing, the BDSM dabbling...so I can relate to A LOT of what people are writing about. I symapathize and remember and feel better knowing I'm not the only one with a lot of baggage to carry around.

And that, my friends, is what blogging is all about.