Consideration

I've been lurking around Blogger for a while. I've come across a few select bloggers that I find fascinating reading.

Why am I fascinated? Well, there are a couple of reasons and I'm they're not always a reflection of what I want to think of as my best qualities.

See, I am a very judgemental person. I used to be very open about it, flapping my mouth off whenever my sensibilities were offended. It amused my friends to no end, I'd have them rolling with off the cuff remarks about anyone unfortunate enough to be a target of my acid tongue.

But, I am also a very lucky person. I have very close friends that care about me and at more than one point in my life they've very gently pointed out that my caustic nature was very unattractive. I have since modified my behavior so as not to push all that negative energy out there -- which is all that kind of activity does. It doesn't make me a better person and it doesn't help the object of my derision, so what's the point?

SO - reading blogs where people have totally laid out their hearts and souls (we assume) gives me the ability to internal dialog with myself about the choices others have made and lets me reflect on the experiences I've had that may (or may not) be a lot like those I read about.

Yeah, I've had an affair with a married man. Yeah, his wife NEVER wanted to have sex with him. Watching the two of them together (she was my friend) was often painful because they were so nasty to each other. Any observer could tell that the love, romance and respect had gone out of their marriage YEARS ago. This experience turned out badly for her and very well for her now ex-husband and myself. It would be stupid of me to be judgemental of anyone else at this point because my own story would make a lot of people very uncomfortable...hell, some of it makes ME uncomfortable.

I've also done the group sex thing, the two girls/one guy thing, the pick up a guy at a club thing, the kink thing, the BDSM dabbling...so I can relate to A LOT of what people are writing about. I symapathize and remember and feel better knowing I'm not the only one with a lot of baggage to carry around.

And that, my friends, is what blogging is all about.

I am sooooo tired....

I haven't slept an entire night in a week.

I drag myself into bed and collapse.

He's right behind me and he knows how tired I am. We spoon. Close. Naked. Warm. I feel him harden behind me. His gorgeous cock stiffening in anticipation...but I just can't muster the energy. And he knows this. He gently moves me onto my back next to him. He wraps an arm around my torso and places his lips on my nipple. He lovingly flicks his tongue across me and the first shiver of desire runs through me. An electric current direct from his mouth to my clit begins to stir me. I stretch in the luxurious feeling. His other hand begins caressing me all over, feeling my skin. "You're so soft" he mummers. He's positively making me purr. He's making me feel beautiful and loved and safe and HORNY!

How did he do that?!? I was just exhausted and tired and cranky and here he's completely turned it around.

Gawd I love that man...

Weekend all gone

We're in bed, exhausted.

We're back from the mountain. Skiis put away in the closet, children put away in bed. Our bodies are tired, muscles worn from slogging through two feet of new snow, bones cold from hauling ALL OUR STUFF from the lodge to the car. (Three kids and two adults worth of snow clothes, skiis, sleeping bags, pillows...ACK! Who's idea was it to have THREE?!?)

We had a great time. The kids enjoyed the HELL out of it. The winter wonderland of quiet forest overlaid with a huge, fluffy white blanket of snow. ("Hey Drew, you know this rope you're grabbing for balance right here is ten feet above my head in the summer?") Its March and the spring skiing is kicking ass this year.

We're in bed, exhausted -- BUT -- the electric blanket is on high. Warmth is setting into my body making me more relaxed than I've been since Friday. I'm squeaky clean from my hot shower, naked under the sheets. He takes my hand and places it where he wants it. I understand what to do and get started -- no second guessing here. He pulls back the sheet just enough to expose one breast, the very tip of his tongue explores. All I feel are feather wisps of touch and each one sends an electric shock of thrill down my body to meet where I'm already at work with my hand. The two combined soak me. I begin rubbing faster, with more purpose and I feel, more than hear, him moan into my body. His entire mouth wrapped around my now hard and pointed nipple. He moves his hand down my legs and I feel him slip between my lips, that one spot right there is so sensitive and he expertly curls his finger up and around it. His movement is calculated, he SO knows what this does to me, he pulses his touch firmly against the inside wall, right behind where my clit is on the outside and I'm undone. We must be quiet so as not to wake anyone. His head is buried in the curve of my neck and I grip his shoulder in my teeth as I cum and cum and cum...

A man's actions

A man can tell you he loves you but it's his actions that show you he really understands what love is.

Yesterday, my man went off on a bike ride without me. He had made plans -- I was invited but not able to go because of the kids -- last week for the ride. I was jealous and irritated that he decided to go without me. So I was pouting and being stoopid. He told me he felt bad because obviously I was upset. I replied that I was being iditotic and he just needed to ignore me, because let's face it -- I WAS being totally juvenile and deserved to be just ignored for my behavior.

I ran some errands (medicine for the one with strep throat, pick up the other from water polo practice) and when I returned home, he wasn't back yet. I expected him to stay away because of my idiocy before he left. I text messaged an apology earlier, and was disheartened to find he was still gone, but I sucked it up and started dinner preparations. I really thought it would be hours before he returned.

To my delight, he came home not 15 minutes after I did. I ran to the stairs as he came up from the garage and said "YAY! You're home!" and gave him a big squeeze and many kisses. He changed out of his wet cycling gear (it was raining hard!) into his jammies and came into the kitchen to help with dinner. There was a point where we were trying to decide the quickest way to get the chicken done where I could have snapped at him and been sarcastic and cold (the way I USED to treat the ex BTW) but I reigned myself in and the night ended very warm and loving.

See? He makes me a better person. Whereas before I would have milked the bad feelings - mostly with myself for being so selfish and childish about him going off without me - these days I move through those feelings, discard them instead of hanging on to them, and proceed to remind myself what it is about him that makes me happy. HIM being happy makes me happy. Me sulking gets us no where so I no longer indulge in that behavior. Its a waste of our precious time together.

Beaches

I'm sleeping in this tiny bed (ours at home is a king, and I can barely even sleep out of my own bed sometimes I swear) finally getting some decent dozing in when I feel the bed move because he's gotten up. I hear him in the bathroom. When he returns, he spoons me close and his cock is SO HARD. I wake up a bit at this -- this is good! -- and murmer "How long have you been sporting that?" He says "Three hours, I can't sleep...all I can think about is you...I've been watching you sleep and stroking myself wishing you would wake up." I get this huge grin on my face, of course he can't see it, but I snuggle my ass up closer to him -- as close as possible anyway -- we're already pretty close! I sneak a peak at the clock - Its 3am! Poor boy! I'm still impossibly wet from the sex we had when we first came to bed five hours ago. He slides right into me and OMG I almost come right away.

You know that REALLY, REALLY HARD cock guys get in the morning? Somehow, its more like steel than at any other time no matter how aroused they are during other times of the day, morning cock is just like THE BEST I think. This is morning cock and its rocking my world. When we lay on our sides, he hits this spot that sends me over the roof, which it did -- about four times. :D

It started innocently enough, introduced through a mutual friend.

Now we are lovers and best friends -- EVAH!

...but how long does it last?

From reading around here, you'd think not long! Read some of these names "HeDoesntWantMe" ? "DesperateHusband"?

Crikey...